








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1768 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2313 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1991 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2306 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,349,089 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sohn44 | 79% | 24 |
| #2 | ✪ Tsh0nk | 72% | 60 |
| #3 | | Cookie | | 71% | 85 |
| #4 | CaTazztrophe | 69% | 36 |
| #5 | ✪ returN | 67% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Saxon | 57% | 58 |
| #10 | somnam | 57% | 76 |
| #11 | Artenex | 49% | 63 |
| #12 | Nextron | 45% | 38 |
| #13 | tree_zero | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | Cookie | | 335 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | somnam | 260 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Artenex | 198 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✪ Tsh0nk | 154 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ returN | 137 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | somnam | +3.72 | 70 | 73 |
| #2 | ✪ returN | +3.21 | 88 | 63 |
| #3 | | Cookie | | +2.87 | 85 | 69 |
| #4 | ecl11ps3 | +2.50 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | sohn44 | +1.47 | 60 | 73 |





