








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1086 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 187 matches | ||
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




122 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3826 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6315 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4345 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4451 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,196,415 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 850 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barrett | 66% | 98 |
| #2 | Your Mom | 57% | 47 |
| #3 | quans | 57% | 88 |
| #4 | snickerdoc | 56% | 151 |
| #5 | kovaak's can't compensate | 54% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kovaak's can't compensate | 61 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | quans | 32 | 0.0202 |
| #3 | snickerdoc | 30 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | barrett | 17 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | me when i neverlose | 11 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quans | 241 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | M1 | 161 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | leonard | 151 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Your Mom | 125 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | kovaak's can't compensate | 123 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XanderBar | +3.41 | 79 | 47 |
| #2 | kovaak's can't compensate | +2.88 | 91 | 40 |
| #3 | quans | +2.72 | 95 | 33 |
| #4 | Your Mom | +2.45 | 89 | 59 |
| #5 | barrett | +2.16 | 75 | 45 |





