










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
78 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 53 | 30% |
| Smokes | 68 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 20 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 38 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $40,335 of utility $280 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zytR | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | hasbulla.se | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | I eat embryos | 100% | 4 |
| #4 | H4mpuz09 | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | O5kar | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | I eat embryos | 100% | 4 |
| #4 | H4mpuz09 | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | O5kar | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | jerkinator | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Andy | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hasbulla.se | 2 | 0.0488 |
| #2 | I eat embryos | 1 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H4mpuz09 | 46 | 0.42 | 1 min |
| #2 | I eat embryos | 16 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #3 | hasbulla.se | 10 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #4 | jerkinator | 8 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | Andy | 6 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zytR | +12.72 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | hasbulla.se | +8.51 | 69 | 31 |
| #3 | Voriie | +0.61 | 59 | 49 |
| #4 | H4mpuz09 | +0.36 | 22 | 30 |
| #5 | I eat embryos | -0.36 | 74 | 47 |





