










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,344 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
63 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11 | 22% |
| Smokes | 15 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 12 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 12 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $23,275 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hasbulla.se | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | LFT Z0RK | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | hechtikal | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Voriie | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | jerkinator | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | va1nly | 25% | 4 |
| #9 | Mob | 25% | 4 |
| #10 | H4mpuz09 | 20% | 5 |
| #11 | 现在最好的球员 | 0% | 2 |
| #12 | 1karlsson999 | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peek | 2 | 0.0278 |
| #2 | Mob | 2 | 0.0286 |
| #3 | hasbulla.se | 2 | 0.0357 |
| #4 | LFT Z0RK | 1 | 0.0128 |
| #5 | 现在最好的球员 | 1 | 0.0270 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LFT Z0RK | 35 | 0.45 | 1 min |
| #2 | H4mpuz09 | 27 | 0.29 | 0 min |
| #3 | hasbulla.se | 15 | 0.27 | 0 min |
| #4 | jerkinator | 14 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | va1nly | 13 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hechtikal | +12.30 | 94 | 85 |
| #2 | Voriie | +6.08 | 39 | 34 |
| #3 | hasbulla.se | +3.97 | 59 | 40 |
| #4 | LFT Z0RK | +3.57 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | Mob | +3.25 | 79 | 49 |





