










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 1,520 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 696 | 34% |
| Smokes | 488 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 332 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 529 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $203,472 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voriie | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | H4mpuz09 | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | zytR | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Matiken. | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | LFT Z0RK | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | H4mpuz09 | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | zytR | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Matiken. | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | LFT Z0RK | 44% | 39 |
| #6 | hasbulla.se | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hasbulla.se | 8 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | LFT Z0RK | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | zytR | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | H4mpuz09 | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LFT Z0RK | 316 | 0.39 | 6 min |
| #2 | hasbulla.se | 152 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | H4mpuz09 | 94 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #4 | zytR | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Matiken. | 41 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zytR | +3.45 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | Matiken. | +3.38 | 84 | 51 |
| #3 | hasbulla.se | +0.96 | 38 | 50 |
| #4 | Voriie | -0.72 | 61 | 48 |
| #5 | LFT Z0RK | -1.14 | 45 | 50 |





