








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 432 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3458 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2412 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1677 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2984 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,196,876 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaTu | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Øzzyyy666 | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Happy Potter | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | ♛𝕔𝕠𝕣𝕖 | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | NoBody | 5 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Øzzyyy666 | 628 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | MaTu | 185 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Happy Potter | 172 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | TerrorBunny | 92 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | NoBody | 71 | 0.12 | 1 min |





