








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 134 | 68% |
| Smokes | 35 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 18 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 11 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,058 of utility $6 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...

| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LilySoftpaw | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | ![]() cementmixeroperator52 | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Jevk | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | iPixelGalaxy | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | Base Cabba | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | iPixelGalaxy | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | Base Cabba | 38% | 39 |
| #6 | ChilledScale | 26% | 19 |
| #7 | Nimmy | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | Zamu | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChilledScale | 4 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Base Cabba | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Zamu | 2 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | iPixelGalaxy | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | ![]() cementmixeroperator52 | 1 | 0.0161 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Base Cabba | 172 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | ChilledScale | 47 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Zamu | 45 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jevk | 26 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | iPixelGalaxy | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |

| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ![]() cementmixeroperator52 | +8.16 | 96 | 31 |
| #2 | Jevk | +6.86 | 46 | 66 |
| #3 | Zamu | +5.92 | 69 | 73 |
| #4 | Nimmy | +5.84 | 59 | 28 |
| #5 | Base Cabba | +1.74 | 34 | 47 |







