










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 822 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2925 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 2178 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1368 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,788,039 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |\/|◊JoKeR◊|\/| | 62% | 53 |
| #2 | Vaskeriet | 59% | 64 |
| #3 | ZenZyg | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | m0M3NT | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Brev | 54% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Brev | 54% | 72 |
| #6 | johanoviz | 50% | 326 |
| #7 | ☆AWPutin☆ (stadig Babbefar) | 49% | 131 |
| #8 | Putin Powder | 48% | 187 |
| #9 | ♛ℹṈⱫAȵƐ➫ⱣAꝀꝁi | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johanoviz | 42 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Putin Powder | 19 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | ☆AWPutin☆ (stadig Babbefar) | 15 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Brev | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Vaskeriet | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johanoviz | 609 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #2 | Putin Powder | 360 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | ☆AWPutin☆ (stadig Babbefar) | 241 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | ZenZyg | 188 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | Vaskeriet | 178 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Putin Powder | +1.82 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | Goatis | +0.53 | 66 | 38 |
| #3 | johanoviz | -0.36 | 57 | 63 |
| #4 | Vaskeriet | -0.66 | 57 | 64 |
| #5 | ☆AWPutin☆ (stadig Babbefar) | -0.99 | 64 | 61 |





