








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 794 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2861 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4813 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4986 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2714 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,722,474 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vaskeriet | 52% | 158 |
| #2 | johanoviz | 50% | 307 |
| #3 | |\/|◊JoKeR◊|\/| | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | ZenZyg | 50% | 90 |
| #5 | Brev | 50% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goatis | 48 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | johanoviz | 22 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | ☆AWPutin☆ (stadig Babbefar) | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Brev | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ZenZyg | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johanoviz | 604 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #2 | |\/|◊JoKeR◊|\/| | 469 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | ZenZyg | 461 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #4 | Vaskeriet | 435 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | ☆AWPutin☆ (stadig Babbefar) | 216 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Putin Powder | +2.85 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Goatis | +0.25 | 65 | 39 |
| #3 | johanoviz | -0.15 | 57 | 63 |
| #4 | Vaskeriet | -0.95 | 51 | 59 |
| #5 | ☆AWPutin☆ (stadig Babbefar) | -0.97 | 64 | 64 |





