








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 405 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1002 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1003 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 674 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $709,769 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Sn3aky | 47% | 81 |
| #11 | Mjornbenyabin | 45% | 31 |
| #12 | Snafu21k | 45% | 20 |
| #13 | shoeler | 40% | 10 |
| #14 | Noctis | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gayman | 10 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | LarryisWashed | 9 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Sn3aky | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Snafu21k | 5 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | BluBalsBBy69 | 5 | 0.0209 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sn3aky | 181 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | plant | 131 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #3 | LarryisWashed | 102 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Snafu21k | 75 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gayman | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w0nderful cerse1 | +2.23 | 84 | 40 |
| #2 | neB | +1.97 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | LarryisWashed | +0.64 | 67 | 38 |
| #4 | Gayman | +0.23 | 78 | 46 |
| #5 | shoeler | -0.18 | 70 | 62 |





