








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 175 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2005 | 40% |
| Smokes | 488 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1314 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1212 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,263 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xuxadiccabandit.gg | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Smuel | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Juh58 | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | Molo | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Jauho0 | 48% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Molo | 7 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | HighOnWiretool bandit.camp | 6 | 0.0256 |
| #3 | Jauho0 | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Smuel | 4 | 0.0150 |
| #5 | pönde | 3 | 0.0155 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jauho0 | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Molo | 63 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | HighOnWiretool bandit.camp | 35 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | pönde | 35 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Juh58 | 25 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pönde | +5.92 | 67 | 76 |
| #2 | Juh58 | +1.43 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | Larry | +1.21 | 58 | 25 |
| #4 | Rankaisija | +1.12 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | Molo | +0.53 | 72 | 55 |





