








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 542 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 686 | 24% |
| Smokes | 696 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 682 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 765 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $690,377 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chick Hicks | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | Anger | 55% | 80 |
| #3 | Tow Mater | 55% | 71 |
| #4 | Fear | 52% | 64 |
| #5 | John China | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Anger | 55% | 80 |
| #3 | Tow Mater | 55% | 71 |
| #4 | Fear | 52% | 64 |
| #5 | John China | 51% | 57 |
| #6 | Wingo | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tow Mater | 13 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Chick Hicks | 12 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | Anger | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | John China | 8 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Wingo | 6 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tow Mater | 216 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Chick Hicks | 142 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | John China | 124 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fear | 109 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Wingo | 88 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fear | +2.46 | 50 | 58 |
| #2 | Wingo | +1.81 | 85 | 55 |
| #3 | John China | +1.71 | 34 | 68 |
| #4 | Chick Hicks | +0.97 | 46 | 53 |
| #5 | Anger | +0.77 | 48 | 44 |





