








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 526 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 635 | 19% |
| Smokes | 825 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 631 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1171 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $820,442 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chick Hicks | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | Magnus | 55% | 80 |
| #3 | John China | 52% | 81 |
| #4 | Tow Mater | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | Wingo | 42% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tow Mater | 13 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Wingo | 12 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | John China | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Magnus | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Chick Hicks | 6 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tow Mater | 227 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | John China | 157 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Chick Hicks | 155 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Wingo | 141 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Magnus | 109 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John China | +1.89 | 41 | 62 |
| #2 | Fear | +1.60 | 48 | 62 |
| #3 | Wingo | +1.36 | 85 | 56 |
| #4 | Anger | +0.54 | 47 | 41 |
| #5 | Chick Hicks | +0.44 | 39 | 55 |





