








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 883 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 731 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1304 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1400 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1142 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,137,442 of utility $291 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Magnus | 52% | 64 |
| #5 | Chick Hicks | 52% | 33 |
| #6 | John China | 50% | 70 |
| #7 | Wingo | 42% | 107 |
| #8 | Anger | 41% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wingo | 25 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Tow Mater | 12 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | John China | 12 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Anger | 9 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Chick Hicks | 5 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wingo | 254 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Tow Mater | 209 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | John China | 136 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Chick Hicks | 87 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Magnus | 80 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dra1ne | +5.96 | 79 | 61 |
| #2 | John China | +1.25 | 38 | 66 |
| #3 | Fear | +1.17 | 50 | 59 |
| #4 | Wingo | +0.36 | 82 | 54 |
| #5 | Anger | +0.33 | 50 | 44 |





