








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1046 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 645 | 35% |
| Smokes | 394 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 465 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 339 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $272,759 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Snowy Snowtime | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | kim | 55% | 88 |
| #4 | forgot how to smile | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | ❀♡Princess Paw Prints♡❀ | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kim | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Snowy Snowtime | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | wate | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kim | 165 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | wate | 93 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Snowy Snowtime | 70 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | . | 36 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | forgot how to smile | 21 | 0.07 | 0 min |





