








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 505 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 701 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7359 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5300 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6325 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4970 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,529,532 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1726 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ismailcan | 57% | 51 |
| #2 | jimBo | 54% | 78 |
| #3 | LouNii™ | 52% | 66 |
| #4 | Jessesojf | 51% | 67 |
| #5 | Retardet kiddo♿ | 50% | 300 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Retardet kiddo♿ | 50% | 300 |
| #6 | ivan | 48% | 283 |
| #7 | haisuli | 48% | 350 |
| #8 | Miska | 46% | 526 |
| #9 | Make | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ivan | 81 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | Miska | 74 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | haisuli | 26 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Retardet kiddo♿ | 18 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | jimBo | 11 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Retardet kiddo♿ | 1141 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #2 | Miska | 1123 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #3 | haisuli | 886 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #4 | ivan | 500 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #5 | jimBo | 329 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Make | +1.73 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | Ismailcan | +1.57 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | LouNii™ | +1.24 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | Retardet kiddo♿ | +1.00 | 83 | 65 |
| #5 | Jambo⛴ | +0.84 | 80 | 63 |





