








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1063 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8042 | 40% |
| Smokes | 4120 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5080 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2951 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $600,312 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2828 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jambo⛴ | 54% | 78 |
| #2 | haisuli | 53% | 64 |
| #3 | ivan | 53% | 85 |
| #4 | netard rigga | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | Miska | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | haisuli | 53% | 64 |
| #3 | ivan | 53% | 85 |
| #4 | netard rigga | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | Miska | 50% | 60 |
| #6 | Retardet kiddo♿ | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ivan | 21 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Miska | 12 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Jambo⛴ | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | netard rigga | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Retardet kiddo♿ | 4 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | netard rigga | 239 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | haisuli | 171 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jambo⛴ | 140 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | ivan | 132 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Miska | 127 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Retardet kiddo♿ | +2.54 | 84 | 73 |
| #2 | Jambo⛴ | +0.80 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | ivan | +0.52 | 73 | 48 |
| #4 | jimBo | +0.29 | 50 | 71 |
| #5 | Miska | +0.13 | 72 | 47 |





