








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1406 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3178 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3237 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2978 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,153,796 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spam | 62% | 52 |
| #2 | Dr.Hubert -50% | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | J.E.J | 57% | 99 |
| #4 | Villi Mies | 53% | 213 |
| #5 | Abigail -25% | 52% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Villi Mies | 25 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Tupsu Taksel | 24 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Spam | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | J.E.J | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Abigail -25% | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Villi Mies | 532 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Tupsu Taksel | 462 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | J.E.J | 457 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #4 | Abigail -25% | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Spam | 76 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spam | +1.76 | 64 | 60 |
| #2 | Abigail -25% | +1.27 | 66 | 53 |
| #3 | Villi Mies | +1.21 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | Suur Papa | +0.58 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | J.E.J | +0.34 | 61 | 64 |





