








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 976 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 436 | 45% |
| Smokes | 107 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 218 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 215 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $54,600 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.Hubert -50% | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | J.E.J | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | Suur Papa | 36% | 33 |
| #4 | Villi Mies | 34% | 35 |
| #5 | sailver | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Suur Papa | 36% | 33 |
| #4 | Villi Mies | 34% | 35 |
| #5 | sailver | 25% | 4 |
| #6 | Tupsu Taksel | 25% | 16 |
| #7 | Abigail -25% | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Villi Mies | 4 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Suur Papa | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Tupsu Taksel | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Villi Mies | 71 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | Tupsu Taksel | 56 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | J.E.J | 31 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Suur Papa | 20 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Abigail -25% | 15 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suur Papa | +1.40 | 71 | 52 |
| #2 | Abigail -25% | +1.03 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | J.E.J | +0.68 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | Villi Mies | +0.63 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | sailver | -1.45 | 67 | 48 |





