








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1104 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2091 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1354 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1401 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $566,393 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abigail -25% | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Suur Papa | 62% | 52 |
| #3 | Tupsu Taksel | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | J.E.J | 57% | 63 |
| #5 | Villi Mies | 54% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tupsu Taksel | 57% | 40 |
| #4 | J.E.J | 57% | 63 |
| #5 | Villi Mies | 54% | 149 |
| #6 | Dr.Hubert -50% | 50% | 10 |
| #7 | sailver | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Villi Mies | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | J.E.J | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Tupsu Taksel | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Abigail -25% | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Suur Papa | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Villi Mies | 355 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | J.E.J | 278 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | Tupsu Taksel | 110 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Abigail -25% | 56 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Suur Papa | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spam | +1.28 | 62 | 61 |
| #2 | Abigail -25% | +0.77 | 60 | 44 |
| #3 | Suur Papa | +0.10 | 62 | 56 |
| #4 | Villi Mies | +0.06 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | J.E.J | -0.56 | 62 | 63 |





