








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2234 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2496 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1558 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1691 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $522,187 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geralt | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | KIAEddZ | 56% | 75 |
| #3 | Higgley Armstrong | 56% | 95 |
| #4 | WesleyK | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Pyro | 54% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Higgley Armstrong | 56% | 95 |
| #4 | WesleyK | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Pyro | 54% | 52 |
| #6 | Penis from the west philadelphia | 53% | 43 |
| #7 | Here to derank | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Higgley Armstrong | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | Pyro | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Higgley Armstrong | 234 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Geralt | 129 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pyro | 124 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Here to derank | 97 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #5 | Penis from the west philadelphia | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WesleyK | +3.52 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | Pyro | +3.05 | 82 | 60 |
| #3 | Geralt | +1.91 | 91 | 61 |
| #4 | Higgley Armstrong | +1.68 | 59 | 62 |
| #5 | Jemz | -0.79 | 70 | 62 |





