








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3325 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3071 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 835 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1977 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $952,521 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WesleyK | 63% | 93 |
| #2 | Google Slides | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Higgley Armstrong | 57% | 47 |
| #4 | nen nen pok | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | Pyro | 57% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nen nen pok | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | Pyro | 57% | 146 |
| #6 | Penis Carter Jr. | 54% | 90 |
| #7 | KIAEddZ | 48% | 83 |
| #8 | Jemz | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WesleyK | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Penis Carter Jr. | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Pyro | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Google Slides | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | nen nen pok | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyro | 329 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | WesleyK | 212 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Higgley Armstrong | 118 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Penis Carter Jr. | 112 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Google Slides | 58 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyro | +2.94 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | WesleyK | +2.39 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | Higgley Armstrong | +1.40 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | Here to derank | -0.11 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | nen nen pok | -0.74 | 63 | 53 |





