








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 776 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2639 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3095 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1916 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1844 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $909,724 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jemz | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | Higgley Armstrong | 54% | 253 |
| #3 | WesleyK | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | KIAEddZ | 52% | 228 |
| #5 | Pyro | 46% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jemz | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | Higgley Armstrong | 54% | 253 |
| #3 | WesleyK | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | KIAEddZ | 52% | 228 |
| #5 | Pyro | 46% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Higgley Armstrong | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | KIAEddZ | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Jemz | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | WesleyK | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Higgley Armstrong | 537 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | Pyro | 143 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jemz | 141 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | KIAEddZ | 117 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | WesleyK | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pyro | +3.59 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | Geralt | +2.60 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | Higgley Armstrong | +1.34 | 62 | 60 |
| #4 | WesleyK | +1.22 | 85 | 71 |
| #5 | Jemz | -0.23 | 67 | 61 |





