








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
91 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18 | 14% |
| Smokes | 28 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 52 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 31 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $11,440 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CristianoRonaldo | 25% | 4 |
| #2 | Nipernaadi | 23% | 13 |
| #3 | nhk | 22% | 9 |
| #4 | Stifler | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CristianoRonaldo | 25% | 4 |
| #2 | Nipernaadi | 23% | 13 |
| #3 | nhk | 22% | 9 |
| #4 | Stifler | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nipernaadi | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | nhk | 2 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nipernaadi | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #2 | Stifler | 2 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | nhk | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | CristianoRonaldo | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nhk | +3.46 | 60 | 63 |
| #2 | Nipernaadi | +2.90 | 72 | 34 |
| #3 | Stifler | +1.20 | 64 | 39 |
| #4 | Sirts | -2.35 | 15 | 23 |
| #5 | CristianoRonaldo | -8.00 | 3 | 6 |





