








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 696 | 21% |
| Smokes | 957 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 741 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 987 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $290,963 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2034 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chase | 61% | 101 |
| #2 | tA admirooo | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | tA noelle | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | tA Naivist | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | tA ouzous | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chase | 61% | 101 |
| #2 | tA admirooo | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | tA noelle | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | tA Naivist | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | tA ouzous | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tA noelle | 35 | 0.0381 |
| #2 | tA Naivist | 18 | 0.0294 |
| #3 | Chase | 17 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | tA admirooo | 8 | 0.0164 |
| #5 | tA ouzous | 6 | 0.0160 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chase | 174 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | tA admirooo | 173 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| #3 | tA Naivist | 29 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | tA noelle | 20 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | tA ouzous | 6 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tA admirooo | +4.28 | 95 | 60 |
| #2 | EG CeRq | +3.53 | 80 | 33 |
| #3 | Chase | +1.73 | 56 | 22 |
| #4 | tA noelle | +1.68 | 81 | 6 |
| #5 | tA Naivist | -0.11 | 78 | 7 |





