








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 989 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 65 | 7% |
| Smokes | 225 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 212 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 487 | 49% |
Our logs show you have wasted $52,224 of utility $16 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EG CeRq | 47% | 19 |
| #2 | tA noelle | 43% | 111 |
| #3 | tA Naivist | 43% | 47 |
| #4 | Chase | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EG CeRq | 47% | 19 |
| #2 | tA noelle | 43% | 111 |
| #3 | tA Naivist | 43% | 47 |
| #4 | Chase | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tA noelle | 98 | 0.0467 |
| #2 | tA Naivist | 40 | 0.0423 |
| #3 | Chase | 16 | 0.0238 |
| #4 | EG CeRq | 7 | 0.0179 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tA noelle | 70 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | Chase | 34 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | tA Naivist | 29 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | EG CeRq | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EG CeRq | +5.11 | 83 | 26 |
| #2 | tA noelle | +4.16 | 86 | 11 |
| #3 | tA Naivist | +2.93 | 81 | 8 |
| #4 | Chase | +0.56 | 46 | 17 |
| #5 | tA ouzous | -2.80 | 36 | 12 |





