








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 656 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3090 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3489 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4676 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2796 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3875 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,023,348 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Arppa | 47% | 114 |
| #7 | Daddy Korpatsov | 41% | 44 |
| #8 | manuli | 38% | 130 |
| #9 | Charlie Sheen | 32% | 31 |
| #10 | Absolut | 29% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ | 16 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Arppa | 14 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | diipadaapa | 11 | 0.0171 |
| #4 | DEEZ | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Daddy Korpatsov | 6 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ | 1200 | 0.28 | 29 min |
| #2 | DEEZ | 330 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Arppa | 265 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | manuli | 118 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Daddy Korpatsov | 101 | 0.13 | 3 min |





