








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 260 | 27% |
| Smokes | 257 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 304 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 136 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $186,364 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MUC | 35% | 23 |
| #2 | Papa Dragon | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | jayknocks | 31% | 48 |
| #4 | Cumm with a dash of Cumm | 29% | 38 |
| #5 | LiqmaKok | 17% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cumm with a dash of Cumm | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | MUC | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | LiqmaKok | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jayknocks | +2.28 | 66 | 58 |
| #2 | MUC | +0.29 | 57 | 41 |
| #3 | Cumm with a dash of Cumm | +0.06 | 47 | 64 |
| #4 | LiqmaKok | -0.33 | 49 | 86 |
| #5 | Papa Dragon | -4.30 | 56 | 64 |





