








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1316 | 30% |
| Smokes | 756 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1485 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 797 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $155,188 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | ✪ Comet | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Ld | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | lost id | 52% | 69 |
| #5 | PenguinHasFishy | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | half a brain | 2 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | lost id | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ✪ Comet | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Bad Booty Grapes | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lost id | 196 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 142 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | ✪ Comet | 55 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ld | 53 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #5 | half a brain | 45 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SadPeepoJuicebox | +2.91 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | ♡ | +1.81 | 79 | 43 |
| #3 | Bad Booty Grapes | -0.01 | 54 | 61 |
| #4 | ✪ Comet | -0.09 | 56 | 68 |
| #5 | Ld | -0.13 | 54 | 64 |





