








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,225 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1886 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1267 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1730 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1342 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $864,753 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lo | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | Borz | 53% | 80 |
| #3 | nExus | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | BiggestSteppa7.62x39 | 48% | 212 |
| #5 | Sloth | 46% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BiggestSteppa7.62x39 | 48% | 212 |
| #5 | Sloth | 46% | 84 |
| #6 | carbbino | 42% | 125 |
| #7 | Mr Delusional | 38% | 29 |
| #8 | D.J. Hufflepuff | 37% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiggestSteppa7.62x39 | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | D.J. Hufflepuff | 17 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | Sloth | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | carbbino | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Borz | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BiggestSteppa7.62x39 | 396 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | carbbino | 381 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | D.J. Hufflepuff | 299 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | Borz | 113 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mr Delusional | 100 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Borz | +1.18 | 71 | 63 |
| #2 | BiggestSteppa7.62x39 | +0.89 | 64 | 48 |
| #3 | Lo | +0.83 | 62 | 64 |
| #4 | Sloth | +0.59 | 66 | 58 |
| #5 | Mr Delusional | -0.44 | 54 | 50 |





