








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 373 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2299 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3767 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2345 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3440 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,383,327 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HuNTr_ | 78% | 23 |
| #2 | UnrealToast | 59% | 46 |
| #3 | Lo | 56% | 66 |
| #4 | Borz | 54% | 131 |
| #5 | Sloth | 53% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mr Delusional | 48% | 44 |
| #7 | me | 48% | 212 |
| #8 | nExus | 48% | 84 |
| #9 | carbbino | 46% | 131 |
| #10 | D.J. Hufflepuff | 46% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D.J. Hufflepuff | 20 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | me | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Sloth | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Borz | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | nExus | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | me | 434 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | D.J. Hufflepuff | 364 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | carbbino | 339 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Sloth | 234 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | Borz | 180 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HuNTr_ | +2.30 | 72 | 44 |
| #2 | Sloth | +1.05 | 65 | 61 |
| #3 | Borz | +0.98 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | BiggestSteppa7.62x39 | +0.91 | 65 | 47 |
| #5 | UnrealToast | +0.52 | 67 | 71 |





