








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 610 | 20% |
| Smokes | 516 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1042 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 933 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $488,575 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paahtisツ | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Jali | 51% | 145 |
| #3 | Urho | 50% | 123 |
| #4 | EetuuZz | 44% | 73 |
| #5 | Kille | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jali | 51% | 145 |
| #3 | Urho | 50% | 123 |
| #4 | EetuuZz | 44% | 73 |
| #5 | Kille | 44% | 39 |
| #6 | uja2 | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jali | 70 | 0.0230 |
| #2 | EetuuZz | 17 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | uja2 | 12 | 0.0166 |
| #4 | Urho | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Kille | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Urho | 429 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Jali | 335 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | EetuuZz | 135 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Paahtisツ | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kille | 24 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eelis | +3.28 | 79 | 47 |
| #2 | Urho | +0.42 | 70 | 74 |
| #3 | EetuuZz | +0.39 | 52 | 58 |
| #4 | Jali | -0.84 | 67 | 52 |
| #5 | Paahtisツ | -1.38 | 58 | 31 |





