










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 811 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1145 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 772 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1075 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $833,746 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Yarazaga | 44% | 43 |
| #5 | insekt | 43% | 42 |
| #6 | K I N G | 36% | 11 |
| #7 | borzoi gaming | 33% | 12 |
| #8 | Matsu | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ched | 15 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | insekt | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Yarazaga | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Hoshi Nova | 3 | 0.0131 |
| #5 | K I N G | 3 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ched | 151 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | insekt | 67 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Yarazaga | 63 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hoshi Nova | 49 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Matsu | 28 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ja mes | +4.67 | 70 | 43 |
| #2 | K I N G | +4.58 | 78 | 48 |
| #3 | ched | +0.22 | 65 | 51 |
| #4 | Hoshi Nova | -2.22 | 39 | 50 |
| #5 | Yarazaga | -2.92 | 16 | 58 |





