








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 477 | 18% |
| Smokes | 805 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 716 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 600 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $579,909 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eeär | 40% | 25 |
| #2 | volvoraggare | 38% | 13 |
| #3 | Thomadson | 33% | 40 |
| #4 | ✪ Fiileew | 32% | 34 |
| #5 | Jezke | 32% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Janari | 25% | 8 |
| #12 | ♿ lauri ♿ | 25% | 52 |
| #13 | AQSU | 24% | 50 |
| #14 | Uneusaurus Rex | 20% | 15 |
| #15 | UKSU LFT | 20% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ lauri ♿ | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | UKSU LFT | 7 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | Eelis | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ✪ Fiileew | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Thomadson | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eelis | 283 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | ♿ lauri ♿ | 201 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | Thomadson | 150 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ Fiileew | 144 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | UKSU LFT | 138 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Fiileew | +3.37 | 71 | 66 |
| #2 | volvoraggare | +3.05 | 63 | 54 |
| #3 | Eeär | +2.42 | 59 | 63 |
| #4 | Jezke | +1.89 | 78 | 69 |
| #5 | Janari | +1.69 | 69 | 74 |





