








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 369 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3126 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2712 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3029 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2801 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $779,901 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saviour of the beaten and the da | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | Sythe | 59% | 54 |
| #3 | RootinTootinPutin | 54% | 92 |
| #4 | diejappie | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | DarkVenom | 51% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f1shy | 13 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Jason | 12 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | RootinTootinPutin | 11 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | corne | 6 | 0.0114 |
| #5 | Sythe | 5 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f1shy | 151 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | RootinTootinPutin | 121 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sythe | 115 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ish Le Avocado. | 108 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jason | 99 | 0.08 | 2 min |





