








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2890 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,458 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1355 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1295 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 963 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1845 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $606,332 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bombardino Crocodillo | 60% | 73 |
| #2 | shut up im hungover | 53% | 57 |
| #3 | Skibidi_Aardvark1297 | 47% | 92 |
| #4 | CHINA | 47% | 58 |
| #5 | MCMikey | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | shut up im hungover | 53% | 57 |
| #3 | Skibidi_Aardvark1297 | 47% | 92 |
| #4 | CHINA | 47% | 58 |
| #5 | MCMikey | 43% | 40 |
| #6 | holy bible | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bombardino Crocodillo | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | MCMikey | 7 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | shut up im hungover | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | CHINA | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Skibidi_Aardvark1297 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shut up im hungover | 199 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | CHINA | 101 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bombardino Crocodillo | 57 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | MCMikey | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | holy bible | 16 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holy bible | +5.23 | 64 | 26 |
| #2 | CHINA | +1.00 | 57 | 43 |
| #3 | Bombardino Crocodillo | +0.62 | 41 | 27 |
| #4 | joe | +0.59 | 41 | 34 |
| #5 | MCMikey | -0.74 | 24 | 24 |





