








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,859 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 831 | 29% |
| Smokes | 696 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 798 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 534 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $156,044 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | RMG | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | alien314813413 | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | 野兽先生 | 48% | 31 |
| #7 | valz | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | ryvren | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RMG | 146 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | gromzie | 96 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | 野兽先生 | 60 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | valz | 42 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | alien314813413 | 28 | 0.23 | 1 min |





