








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 689 | 25% |
| Smokes | 501 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 939 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 594 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $250,592 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryvren | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Teea | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | gromzie | 49% | 53 |
| #4 | RMG | 46% | 78 |
| #5 | 野兽先生 | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RMG | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | 野兽先生 | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | alien314813413 | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Teea | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | RashyyXx | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RMG | 220 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | 野兽先生 | 105 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | gromzie | 86 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | alien314813413 | 49 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | RashyyXx | 18 | 0.07 | 0 min |





