








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 238 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1515 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1501 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2403 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1301 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,370,986 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππΌπͺΜ ππͺπ½π½e | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | JB | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | π₯πΏππ½πΆπ« | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Lennart ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°) | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | keksari | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lennart ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°) | 370 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | JB | 279 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | Hazered | 230 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | ππΌπͺΜ ππͺπ½π½e | 212 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sienestaja | 165 | 0.22 | 3 min |





