








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 776 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3545 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4068 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3482 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2917 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,118,195 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keksari | 52% | 79 |
| #2 | π₯πΏππ½πΆπ« | 49% | 96 |
| #3 | n0ll3 | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Sienestaja | 47% | 58 |
| #5 | Svontti | 46% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππΌπͺΜ ππͺπ½π½e | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Svontti | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | π₯πΏππ½πΆπ« | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | keksari | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Hazered | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazered | 441 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | ππΌπͺΜ ππͺπ½π½e | 347 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #3 | π₯πΏππ½πΆπ« | 295 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Lennart ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°) | 293 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Sienestaja | 263 | 0.21 | 5 min |





