








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 491 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3101 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2409 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1601 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2263 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,267 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmmmm | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | ... | 75% | 28 |
| #3 | Jepzuk | 59% | 78 |
| #4 | Nixx | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | Teenys | 57% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Teenys | 57% | 37 |
| #6 | Alzu | 57% | 23 |
| #7 | Samz | 56% | 16 |
| #8 | Lukzury | 56% | 18 |
| #9 | vFlippii | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teenys | 10 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | Jepzuk | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Nixx | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | ... | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Alzu | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nixx | 222 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jepzuk | 144 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Alzu | 71 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Teenys | 68 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Samz | 60 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Repsu | +3.22 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | mmmmm | +2.15 | 83 | 72 |
| #3 | ... | +0.82 | 89 | 61 |
| #4 | Jepzuk | +0.72 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | Nixx | +0.01 | 73 | 74 |





