








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 578 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches | ||
| Wingman | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 176 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3647 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3674 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6054 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 5255 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,367,345 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nixx | 61% | 70 |
| #2 | ... | 57% | 88 |
| #3 | Repsu | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | Lukzury | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | Jepzuk | 49% | 471 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jepzuk | 25 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | munavalas341pinjasalokorpifan<3 | 12 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Alzu | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Ron1ster | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | ... | 9 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jepzuk | 992 | 0.11 | 24 min |
| #2 | Alzu | 828 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #3 | Samz | 624 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #4 | Nixx | 476 | 0.33 | 15 min |
| #5 | Ron1ster | 335 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Repsu | +5.32 | 89 | 73 |
| #2 | Nixx | +4.43 | 79 | 82 |
| #3 | Jepzuk | +1.34 | 72 | 63 |
| #4 | ... | +1.24 | 86 | 58 |
| #5 | Samz | +0.93 | 76 | 59 |





