








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,525 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1319 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1826 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2453 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1927 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,235,310 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2834 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cucumber | 78% | 50 |
| #2 | tabbie | 62% | 79 |
| #3 | Nakke | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | dblockgeneral666 | 49% | 91 |
| #5 | Arnie | 49% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jups | 48 | 0.0279 |
| #2 | kanapizza™ | 16 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | tabbie | 15 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Arnie | 14 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | dblockgeneral666 | 10 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cucumber | +6.53 | 69 | 74 |
| #2 | tabbie | +3.97 | 89 | 71 |
| #3 | Jups | +3.26 | 81 | 45 |
| #4 | Arnie | +2.37 | 82 | 44 |
| #5 | Nakke | +1.75 | 69 | 69 |





