








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 186 matches | ||
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2843 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3146 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3511 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2955 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,813,252 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6985 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuitsu シ | 58% | 48 |
| #2 | Pewzii | 57% | 126 |
| #3 | eternal sleep | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | kanapizza™ | 53% | 201 |
| #5 | Hieno | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kanapizza™ | 442 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Kuitsu シ | 199 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pewzii | 188 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Hieno | 100 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | dima1971 | 86 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jups | +1.78 | 76 | 51 |
| #2 | Kuitsu シ | +1.05 | 39 | 72 |
| #3 | Pewzii | +0.23 | 64 | 57 |
| #4 | kanapizza™ | +0.03 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | eternal sleep | -0.17 | 69 | 34 |





