








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 452 matches | ||
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 26 different maps





Our logs show 230 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10055 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9806 | 25% |
| Smokes | 10218 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10220 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 8973 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,908,372 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 773 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dblockgeneral666 | 30 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Arnie | 24 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Nakke | 23 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | mikkoxii | 9 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Jantsu | 8 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jantsu | 1892 | 0.21 | 57 min |
| #2 | Cucumber | 915 | 0.09 | 28 min |
| #3 | dblockgeneral666 | 785 | 0.07 | 17 min |
| #4 | Nakke | 572 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #5 | Arnie | 492 | 0.04 | 12 min |





