








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,886 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 901 | 23% |
| Smokes | 947 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1000 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1038 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $565,344 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treuil | 54% | 39 |
| #2 | Sandy | 49% | 114 |
| #3 | Bzez | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | Table Basse | 45% | 132 |
| #5 | lelongduzob | 44% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | lelongduzob | 44% | 77 |
| #6 | IMX | 40% | 25 |
| #7 | Spongebob | 40% | 55 |
| #8 | Gary the snail | 37% | 67 |
| #9 | IC3PAK | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sandy | 22 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | lelongduzob | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Gary the snail | 9 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Table Basse | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Spongebob | 5 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sandy | 422 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Table Basse | 296 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | lelongduzob | 265 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Treuil | 172 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Spongebob | 151 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treuil | +3.00 | 89 | 66 |
| #2 | Table Basse | +1.57 | 82 | 56 |
| #3 | Patrick | +0.40 | 59 | 45 |
| #4 | IC3PAK | -0.34 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | Bzez | -0.51 | 36 | 47 |





