








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 691 | 58% |
| Smokes | 301 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 81 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 114 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $63,434 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ___Malek___ | 28% | 64 |
| #2 | e'ZarDebb | 25% | 40 |
| #3 | AdSick | 20% | 10 |
| #4 | Taku Redha | 17% | 6 |
| #5 | glenn quagmire | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | AdSick | 20% | 10 |
| #4 | Taku Redha | 17% | 6 |
| #5 | glenn quagmire | 17% | 6 |
| #6 | 0 kill master | 17% | 6 |
| #7 | злой#BèŖàá ツ | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ___Malek___ | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | e'ZarDebb | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | злой#BèŖàá ツ | 2 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | glenn quagmire | 2 | 0.0154 |
| #5 | 0 kill master | 1 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ___Malek___ | 184 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | AdSick | 17 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | glenn quagmire | 12 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | злой#BèŖàá ツ | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | e'ZarDebb | 8 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AdSick | +5.93 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | злой#BèŖàá ツ | -0.22 | 63 | 32 |
| #3 | Exan | -1.12 | 55 | 39 |
| #4 | ___Malek___ | -1.22 | 12 | 58 |
| #5 | glenn quagmire | -2.31 | 53 | 65 |





