








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1468 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 647 matches | ||
| Wingman | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 128 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9348 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6774 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 9587 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6154 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,092,564 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Themse1997 | 53% | 45 |
| #2 | xSilentCupi | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | Angelina | 51% | 41 |
| #4 | Marabu | 48% | 132 |
| #5 | Sonic The Hedgehog☺♥☺SKINS | 45% | 60 |





