










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1763 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 842 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 195 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,050 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4571 | 18% |
| Smokes | 6714 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7558 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6207 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,282,766 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...



| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ![]() DaDDy♛CooL | 56% | 87 |
| #2 | ![]() ᴸ ᵘ ᵏ ᵃ ˢ | 52% | 99 |
| #3 | ![]() Descheneau | 50% | 88 |
| #4 | ![]() Endgegner | 48% | 108 |
| #5 | ![]() Q-Plan?! | 48% | 262 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kramseyy_in_Paradise | 20 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | ![]() OGFL04T | 15 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ![]() Kronos | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | ![]() Descheneau | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | ![]() Luzz1993 | 7 | 0.0045 |











