








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 464 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,924 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3498 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2318 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2510 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2598 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,026 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 466 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BOT Shmacked Yoda | 36% | 113 |
| #7 | Anilyse♡ | 29% | 97 |
| #8 | MCSAUCE | 25% | 53 |
| #9 | Rustyy | 22% | 18 |
| #10 | Coil | 0% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCSAUCE | 21 | 0.0214 |
| #2 | Atlas</< | 21 | 0.0280 |
| #3 | Anilyse♡ | 14 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Necrot | 12 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | BOT Shmacked Yoda | 8 | 0.0039 |





